These are to help guide you through terminology you may encounter, both here and in other common infidelity resources. These abbreviations are particularly helpful if journaling is a large part of your healing, and it is much more time efficient. Highlighted terms are most commonly used.

• AP: affair partner

• BT: Betrayal Trauma

• BS/BP: betrayed spouse/partner

• CT: couples therapy

• CSAT: Certified Sex Addiction Therapist

• DARVO: Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender - a common set of strategies used by the perpetrator of abuse, violence, or conflict, to deflect blame for their actions

• D-day: the day of discovery of an affair

• DV: domestic violence

• Cluster B: type of personality disorders; includes narcissistic,

  borderline, histrionic, and antisocial

• EA: emotional affair (see PA)

• FOO: "family of origin", e.g. "My spouse has FOO issues."

• FW: F#@! Wit —Because sometimes you just need a really strong word when you’re venting to your coach or therapist! Take it or leave it, but please don’t email me with disdain or judgement.◡̈

• Gaslighting- A form of emotional abuse which involves manipulating reality to make the victim question their sanity, doubt their intuition, feel crazy, and accept blame for relational issues. It’s a gradual process that’s challenging to recognize when you’re on the receiving end.

• Grey Rock: a method of dealing with toxic or narcissistic people by making yourself as boring and uninteresting as possible, generally by omitting any sort of reaction (positive or negative) to their behavior, so that they decide to leave you alone due to lack of stimulation

• Hoovering: when an ex is trying hard to convince you to come back to the relationship; sucking you in; as in Hoover the vacuum cleaner brand

• HW: home wrecker

• IC: individual counseling

• Love bombing: when someone is going over-the-top with romantic gestures, e.g. flowers, presents, etc, often in order to disguise true intentions or misdirect your attention from wrong doing

• LTA: long-term affair

• MC: marriage counseling (for couples)

• Monkey branching: the act of looking for a new relationship while remaining in the old one until you find it

• NC: no contact

• NEX: narcissistic ex

• NPD: narcissistic personality disorder

• OBS: other betrayed spouse

• OP: Offending partner

• OFW: Our Family Wizard - structured communication and monitoring software for co-parenting

• ONS: one night stand

• OW/OM: other woman/man

• PA: physical affair (see EA)

• Pick-me dance: the frantic efforts of a betrayed spouse to keep their relationship after d-day, which generally entails humiliating behavior

• POSA: Partner Of Sex Addict

• SA: Sex Addict

• STBX: soon to be ex

• STBXW/H: soon to be ex wife/husband

• Trickle-truth: admitting to the bare minimum that explains the evidence, then as more evidence is discovered, admitting to just enough to encompass that evidence as well

• USB: Unwanted Sexual Behavior

• WS/WP: wayward spouse/partner