ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE

When it comes to relationships, broken down doesn’t mean it’s unsalvageable or worthless. It means you need some repair work and scheduled maintenance.

“Great relationships aren’t the good fortune of a lucky few — they are formed by an unshakeable commitment to be our best, give our best, and want the best for our partner and our partnership.”

 Is Your Marriage Running on Empty?

If your marriage were your favorite car, what condition would it be in right now? Would it still shine like the day you first drove it off the lot, or would it be sitting on the shoulder with the hazard lights flashing? The truth is, most marriages don’t blow up with one crisis. They rust out slowly—through neglect, unspoken resentments, and warning lights we learn to ignore. At first, it’s all googly eyes, promises, and attention. Then climbing the proverbial ladder, family responsibilities and obligations fill your days.  We let the oil run low, shrug off the rattles, and stop prioritizing and maintaining what once felt priceless.

The drift shows up in the little things. Intimacy shifts from joy to duty—or disappears altogether. Conversations shrink into complaints and calendars instead of curiosity and delight. Affection gets withheld, compliments dry up, and love is starved of the nourishment it needs. What should be a source of safety and connection turns into silence and distance.

Now throw your discovery into the equation. The vehicle that was barely functional exploded as it collided with your perceived reality. Whether it was an affair, pornography, or emotional energy being poured into someone besides the person you promised your life to—life as you knew it changed in an instant. Whatever form it takes, it feels like a head-on collision. Everything stops. Everything hurts. The last thing you want to do in that moment is reach for the very person who shattered your trust. If anything, you want them to feel the depth of the pain they caused. That anger is real. That ache is real. And yet, even in the middle of the wreckage, the longing for closeness doesn’t disappear.

Here’s what you need to hear clearly: his betrayal is not your fault. Compulsive sexual behavior, acting out, or infidelity isn’t caused by your inadequacy, your beauty, or your worth. It comes from wounds and choices that belong to him. Nothing you did—or didn’t do—caused it. But here’s the paradox: while you are not responsible for his acting out, you do have the opportunity to care for yourself, to heal, and to choose how you will engage with the future of your relationship.

There’s also a deeper layer. No marriage—no matter how devoted—was ever meant to fill the God-shaped hole in your heart. Only His presence can. When that sacred space is filled, the strength to try again doesn’t come from your own exhausted reserves. It comes from Someone who whispers, This isn’t too big for Me.

And that’s exactly why the small, daily choices matter. When God is the One fueling you, you find the courage to lean in instead of pull away. You’re able to offer grace when criticism feels easier, and to stay curious instead of shutting down. These aren’t just relationship hacks—they’re evidence of a heart being renewed from the inside out. For women especially, this includes caring for your own soul, tending to your triggers, and making intentional space for connection that feels safe. Those small, honest actions become the nuts and bolts that rewire connection, restore trust, and eventually rebuild desire.

So ask yourself: what warning lights are blinking on your dashboard? Are they small, quick fixes—or is it time for serious engine work? If you’ve stopped expecting anything from your partner, that’s not wear and tear—that’s a legit breakdown. And if your relationship hasn’t hit crisis, don’t wait until it does. The best time for maintenance is always before the breakdown.

That’s why I created the FIND ME Check-In. It’s not just another dumb acronym that guarantees to fix what’s broken in 7 steps—it’s a format for couples to have structured, vulnerable, and meaningful conversations without falling into the traps of fixing, defending, or emotionally escalating. Each letter in FIND ME represents a simple step in a back-and-forth dialogue that keeps you grounded, honest, and connected. It’s designed to give you a script when words are hard to find, and to help you listen without judgment when emotions are running high. Think of it as your personal service manual for marriage—giving you clarity and connection exactly when you need it most.

Your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect to be priceless. But it does need maintenance. Try the check-in. Print it. Use it. Stick with it for a few weeks and see what shifts. And if you’re not sure where to start, I’d love to walk with you through the debris and wounds of the impact of his betrayal. Whether you’re in year one or year twenty, the car you once dreamed of isn’t meant to sit broken down. It’s meant to carry you both somewhere worth going. 

As a subscriber, you may download this communication tool for free, and if you and your partner can commit to a minimum of five, fifteen to twenty minute conversations, I’d truly be honored if you’d share your experience and feedback with me. So, let me know if you and your partner want to commit to the Five Times Challenge before you start and upon submitting your review, I will give you a promo code to receive $100 off any of my services within the next six months!