Say what?
“It’s fricken ALPHABET SOUP— This effing BS recovery crap is WAY more than I signed up for!”
D-Day, Acting Out, CSAT, SA, POSA, BP—what the heck IS this alphabet soup language, and is it really a “thing?”
“When was D-Day?” I looked over my shoulder hoping she was asking someone else, because, well, I suck at dates and being caught off guard. Plus, I hardly remember driving to the meeting…let alone specific dates of wars. But “Liz” was asking me and I got red hot and somehow pulled the answer from the dusty shelves of my pre-frontal cortex, “D-day was on the beaches of Normandy in an allied effort to liberate France in June, 1944.”
”45?” I said, jumping on Liz’s hesitation.
“Oh, I don’t even know,” she said, and then told me she was impressed—but also that she was sorry for assuming I knew that D-Day meant “Discovery Day” in recovery. Ohhhh, that? Well, if she meant the day I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I could do her one better…I knew the minute, the place, and the moments leading up to it. I could recall the weather, the car we drove, and the odd way he was just letting me talk all through breakfast—you get the idea. Like September 11, 2001, the moment of discovery is imprinted in our minds (for the psych and science nerds, that information is stored in the amygdala part of our nuggets).
I begin with that story because that meeting marked the beginning of a new trajectory—and an education that continues to this day, but it also served as my initiation into a new, much smaller world that earned a language of its own.
I was exhausted and overwhelmed. I didn’t sign up for this nor did I have time for it! I had 3 boys in their prime school years, I was leading a Bible study, volunteering at the local crisis center for physically and sexually abused women, and I’d just been certified as a professional life coach. I was positioned to pursue my dream of Inn Dwelling, Soul Healing Experiences for women. SHE heals, SHE grows, SHE discovers. Intensive, discreet, healing retreats with luxury amenities, and a variety of soul-filling and life-giving experiences.
And now? WTF? The irony is rich, isn’t it? I was creating a sacred space for women to learn to love themselves, heal their deep wounds, and come to believe in their purpose and worth. I was creating this space for hurting women—and I was my ideal client.
But hey, let me get to the whole point of this post already! I want to equip you with a tool that you can print off or screenshot for future reference. The acronyms and terms used in the realm of sex addiction and betrayal trauma, are plentiful. Knowing what is meant when you hear group members, coaches, authors, podcasters, bloggers, and therapists use words and phrases of this new language, will give you a head start and allow you to focus on the context and meaning of what is being discussed, rather than trying to decode as you go. I’ve added a little flavor to make the doc match my cynicism for even needing to write it.
I’d love to hear from you! Comment below with other acronyms, phrases or terms you’d like me to add…or about your “introduction” to recovery. And if you haven’t done so yet, please join my email list…and I promise I won’t swear in most of my posts, but sometimes those rascally words just find their way to the page!
